Today I dream about a RAINBOW family , a confluence of people from all parts of the globe ,a multicultural, multi-ethnic ,multilingual family ,where Idlis and Dosas are served along with Japanese Sushis and Mexican Calabazas, garnished with mashed tomatoes coming all the way from Chile ….:) we are such stuff as dreams are made on.,right !!
Well, It’s a beautiful dream and I believe dreams can come true..:)
What I am going to tell you now is all about a love-hate relationship I had with many things
- with my looks , with China , with those who took my photographs without my consent (when I was in the ‘babbling’ stage and therefore too feeble to protest) and also with my fantastic friends who would come home ,go through all the old albums and cry at the top of their voices….
“Heyyyy ..…..is that YOU …!!!!!!!’’ Soooooooo cuteeeee yaaaar….”
Well, this is only the tip of the iceberg and I loved it…but the sentence is not finished yet.Let’s listen to what followed next..
“…WOW…..u look like a Chinese kid…really !!!!.....ohhhhhhhhh look at the eyes ,the nose….blah..blah..blah..
This part of the sentence really gets into my nerves, not because I think some race is better than the other or some people are more beautiful than the rest.The fact that they were pointing at some peculiarity that made me seem different used to irk me. Also I failed to associate the adjective ‘cute’ with my so-called Chinese looks. At that time I couldn’t think that anyone can look cute with tiny eyes and frizzy locks and a button nose !! .
To put it simply ,for pure aesthetic reasons ( as my aesthetic sense was conditioned by the Indian notions of beauty ) I disliked the Mongoloid features.
The Chinese features stayed on till 3 or 4 years of age I think .
..enough for me to have a deep rooted resentment against the tiny eyes and the straight fluffy locks which I possessed for a long time until ‘Indianness’ set in sending my so called ‘Chinese looks’ into oblivion.
The story got an interesting turn quite ironically some years back .One of my cousins who lives abroad fell in love - enough to shake the traditional, conservative family !
hmm…that’s not the real problem..there would have been no problem if she had fallen in love with a Tamilian /Punjabi/ Rajasthani / Bengali/ Gujarati , for that matter with any Indian.But the person with whom she fell in love was a True Blue Chinese young man !!!!
Of course, it created a hullabaloo. But she was adamant in her love and they waited for a long time seeking the blessings and consent of her parents .Nothing happened. Finally they got married amidst the protests.
It happened during the fag end of my school days and I was not at all concerned with the questions that ensued,
Was it the right thing for her to do ?
Why did she break her parents' trust ?
Why didn't she marry an Indian ?
Why can't two persons love each other ?
WHY WHY WHY…????
Least enraptured with these questions I found myself wondering -How would they look like together as a Jody! For purely aesthetic reasons I disliked her marrying him .In my eyes she was the epitome of Indian beauty with bright eyes and a sparkling smile .She would remind you of the classy heroines of some offbeat Bollywood movies.
…sigh..marriages are made in heaven :)
She was excommunicated ( is that the word ?)
Slowly the lost ties started reuniting after two kids were born to her– Rohan and Sarla.
And in 2010 she visited her ancestral home in Kerala with them. Again I found myself wondering how they( India meets China ) would look likeI was dying to see them as I haven’t seen their photographs.
Believe me , the moment I met the kids I fell in love with them so that I forgot everything else - the lingering questions, the curiosity , the ambiguities….everything faded away.
Maybe that was the moment a rainbow started splashing its myriad hues all over my horizon. It was like a tree branching out everywhere no matter how deep its roots went.
After a few days’ stay here they left for their home and when good byes ,kisses and blessings ( ah…finally they got that )floated around. I felt a part of my own self being taken away from me.
“How do the children look like?” my friend asked.
“Indian ? Chinese ?”
Well, it’s a difficult question to answer.They might have taken deep roots within my subjective self that I fail to think objectively , a matter of the heart winning over the mind !
They are cute, like every other kid..
They are kids…citizens of the world…
Nothing peculiar about that..no?
Let such beautiful rainbows spread across the horizons :)
Was it the right thing for her to do?
How could she break her parents’ trust?
Why can’t two people love each otherWhy didn’t she fell in lo
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